SHORT, SWEET, AND VEDIC: A MODERN, WOMAN-FRIENDLY HINDU MARRIAGE CEREMONY
A new book describes a no-fuss, woman-friendly ceremony for Hindu marriages.
Sunday, December 16, 2007
The Telegraph
by Malini Banerjee
For those who consider elaborate Hindu weddings a waste of time and money and a continuation of dated rituals, there is hope. The soon-to-be-published AnEver-new Vedic Wedding by Gouri Dharmapal and Gautam Dharmapal is a wedding manual that is an easy guide to a " short ritual with necessary Vedic mantras minus the days-and-nights-long elaborate rites and social practices " .
" When we decided to get married Gautam told me that the Hindu wedding ceremony has become a cacophony. He wanted to make it a symphony, " says the 76-year-old Gouri. She wears many hats. She is a poet, a writer, a teacher of Sanskrit (she retired as head of the Sanskrit department at Lady Brabourne College in 1991) and a Vedic scholar.
In 1967, when she married Gautam, their marriage broke many time-tested conventions. She was 36 years old. Her husband was not the conventional Bengali bhadralok employed in a job with " good prospects " - he was Gujarati and had " taken " the surname " Dharmapal. "
" Ten of us formed the Dharma Sangha in 1945 and took on the surname of Dharmapal. The Dharma Sangha was formed to dedicate our lives to the cause of rashtra, dharma and dharma prachaar, " says Gautam.
Gouri and Gautam were married in a short ceremony with few people. They had a woman priest performing the rites! And the bride and groom recited their own vows in Sanskrit! They called it the Vedic wedding.
Shrimat Anirvan, a Vedic scholar whom they called their " acharya " , was the supervisor or " Brahma " at their wedding, and his niece Narayani Devi was the priest."
That was the beginning, " says Gouri. " In the next 40 years, friends and relatives who thought like us approached us. We, with our woman students, acted as priests. "
She has acted as priest in 16 marriages. These include the weddings of actor-director Aparna Sen's daughter Kamalini (Dona) and writer (and Gouri's sister) Bani Basu's daughter. " The media got wind of it when Aparna came to us. A lot was written then. But not too many dared to go in the same direction, " says Gouri.
She knows that 16 weddings in 40 years do not make a trend. " This is why I can't be called a woman priest.
“What we (she points at her husband) wanted to do was take out the meaningless lokachar that had crept into the Hindu wedding. "
The book will also contain a Bengali translation, Vedic pronunciation and mantras with the right accents, and a few mantras that have been changed to make the ceremony more "intelligible, progressive and profound " .
They cite the example of the groom's mantra for shubhodrishti (The first look the couple exchange). The original mantra is "a-ghora a-pati-ghni edhi."
This asks the bride not to look at her husband with evil eyes.
The negative implication has been turned on its head and modified to "Sudrishtir edhi anavadaya lakhshana," which means " O you auspicious and beautiful wife, look with love to your spouse. "
The words "kanyala pitribhyah " describe the daughter as leaving the abode of her father.
This has been changed to " kanyala matapitribhyam ," to denote that the daughter leaves the
house of her parents, both being equally close to her.
"Our social customs should change to convey a hearty and healthy expression of love and joy," says Gouri.
http://www.telegraphindia.com/1071216/asp/calcutta/story_8660968.asp#
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